What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
