with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
