I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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