I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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