i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I FOUND THE LEGS
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
