Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
