I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
