You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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