12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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