that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
