So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
