I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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