if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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