You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
