Is it because I queefed?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
