do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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