There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
