I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
