we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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