She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
