The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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