i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
