where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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