well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
