im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
