thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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