I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
