I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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