Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
