happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
