She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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