Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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