I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
