So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
