We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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