Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
