i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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