i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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