I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
