hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
