haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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