Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
