Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
