the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
