You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
