bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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