the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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