i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
third nipple confirmed
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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