I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
