By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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