i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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