And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
