u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
