you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
