when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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