thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They took my balls.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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