I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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