During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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