waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
