Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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