Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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