me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
